"The Pole Vaulter Fallacy"

A lot of my time is spent listening to people beat themselves up for a wide range of reasons. However, a large bulk of reasons that I hear people being so hard on themselves is what I am going to call the "Pole Vaulter Fallacy."

Generally speaking, listening to people I hear them talk about the shame or disappointment or anger they feel when they were not able to live up to some standard. Some of those standards are internal standards that a person has for what they expect of themselves. Some of those standards are perceptions of what others have of them. Either way, when these standards are not met, there is a lot of hurt that is shared. 

Here is why I call it the "Pole Vaulter Fallacy": The internal or external standards that are perceived to be so high that we need a pole vault in order to clear them. What makes it a fallacy, is that too often the reality is that the standards are only as high as a high jumper. Meaning, that many people are more than clearing the bar, but the pole they are using is knocking the bar down and so it looks like failure. 

Friends, consider the ways that the "bar" that is before us is not as high as you think it is. You don't need to grab a pole in order to clear the mark. Your jump is more than enough. You are more than enough. Trust in that.

Put the pole down, you are only hurting yourself. 

What a Stuck Nut Teaches Us About Scripture

I think that I have this story correct, but I may have it a bit off, however here we go:

My mother in law took her pool pump to be repaired. The repair man shared with her that there was a nut stuck in the pump which is why it was not working. This made sense to her since the pump has many nuts, bolts and screws in order to hold it together. A nut breaking loose would cause the pump to break. The news made it to my father in law who was told that there was a screw stuck in the pump and that it was all repaired. When my father in law saw the invoice, he began to crack up. 

From a nut to a screw back to a different nut. 

It is just a reminder that no matter how clear you think you may be when you are communicating, once you communicate there is a bit of trust that what you are communicating is received. 

If three people use the same language within the same hour, through both written and verbal mediums and STILL have misunderstanding, then perhaps we need to take a breath when we read scripture. As a reminder, scripture was written by several people in a different language in a different time and place translated at least three times before most of us read it. Oh, and it is talking about the mysteries of God and not a broken pool pump. 

Perhaps we "understand" the Bible is talking about hardware and we are going to share that with everyone but in fact scripture is talking about pecans. 

Treating Conditions as Problems

In the winter we all know that the days run a bit shorter on sunshine. It is the way the whole rotation and tilt of the Earth works. It is something we all know is the condition of the planet, something we all learn to live with. We don't try to fix it because we know it is not a problem as it is a condition. 

This is not to say that shorter days in the winter is not something we all enjoy. I like sunshine and I prefer summer to winter largely because of the amount of sun that is available. But I know that winter is not a problem but a condition that we all live with, so I don't try to "fix" it.

There are so many things in our lives that are conditions that we refuse to see as conditions but problems. For instance, I struggle with anger and frustration. It does not take much to get me to "pissed off". I have addressed this in so many ways from counseling to meditation to journaling to breathing while counting to ten. I have tried self medicating with substances like wine and beer, I have tired to punch a pillow. Nothing has worked, I still get angry and I feel guilty that I get so mad.

It was not until I worked with a spiritual mentor that I came to understand that my anger and frustration are not problems that need to be solved, but conditions that I ought to learn to live with. And I can tell you, the more I embrace my anger as a condition rather than a problem the less frequent I experience anger. 

I understand there are real problems in our lives, however we may be too quick to diagnose a condition as a problem. 

What would it look like if you re-diagnosed the problem in your life as a condition that you need to learn to live with? Can you discover the freedom that comes from embracing this condition rather than trying to "solve" it? Can you come to see that the problem may not only be a condition but may also be the very thing you need in order to live a whole life?