Has the Golden Rule Lead to more Violence?

The following was originally posted by mistake on June 17th, 2016. It was scheduled for the incorrect date and this is why it is now being re-posted to the correct post date. Thank you for reading.

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"Love your neighbor as yourself" - AKA the Golden Rule. This commandment is expressed a number of different ways, and in my tradition we first see this commandment in Leviticus 19:18. 

This expression of the Golden Rule makes me wonder if our acceptance of violence on others is a result of the violence we accept on our own selves. 

Many of my people believe that humans are sin sick souls that can do no good and are all hell bound. As a result we do all sorts of spiritual violence to ourselves in order to try to purify our souls. 

Culture shames people for their body and we do all sorts of physical violence to our bodies in order to meet these unreal standards.

Pressures from all places show us how we are all not as smart or as wise as we need to be. We do all sorts of mental violence to our minds in order to try to put on the front that we are not idiots and are worthy.

When there is tragedy we are given a time period to grieve and then move on, but if we are not able to move on in that window then we begin to think there is something wrong with us. We commit all sorts of emotional violence to ourselves in order to try to "move on" and "be better" since it seems "everyone else has."

We beat ourselves up because we are often our own harshest critic. However, doing so much violence to our own selves results in accepting it and then assuming that a certain level of violence on others is also acceptable since we tolerate a certain level of self inflicted violence. 

The point being that as long as we are continuing to tolerate self violence then we will continue to tolerate violence on others. 

Among the last things that Jesus said to his disciples in the gospel of John (13:34) we read: "I (Jesus) give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another." 

Jesus loves without violence of any kind and this slight modification of the Golden Rule for me is more significant than just semantics. This modification of the Golden Rule moves the center of the love from the individual to Jesus the Christ. Rather than Love your neighbor as yourself, Jesus frames this rule as Love one another as I have loved you.

I wonder what it would look like if we stopped loving others as we love ourselves and love one another as Jesus the Christ loves.

Love from Truth or Truth from Love?

Since the United Methodist Church's General Conference in Portland, Oregon I have been reading and listening more than I have been writing as a way to better understand my sisters and brothers around the connection who hold different positions than I do. It has been a mentally and spiritually exhausting discipline and through this work, I believe I am drawing closer to a foundational difference in Christ's church. I will phrase it in a question: 

“Pilate asked him, ‘What is truth?’

Go and learn what this means, “I desire mercy, not sacrifice.” For I have come to call not the righteous but sinners.’”

— John 18:38 and Matthew 9:13

Does Love come from Truth or does Truth come from Love? 

If love comes from truth then truth effects the expression of love. For instance, the person on the street corner with a megaphone or those who make videos trying to convince others of a truth are (in my experience) doing these actions not out of judgement but out of love. The megaphone preacher has a love for people and fears that people are going to hell. As an act of love driven by this understanding of truth, the person stands and yells in order to get people's attention. One preacher told me that if you saw someone walking into the street and they did not see a bus coming down on them, wouldn't you yell about the bus to the person? There are a number of videos put out by groups in the UMC that are operating out of this understanding of what is fundamental. Their love for others, Christ and his church are such is rooted in a Truth that drives their actions. 

However I have noticed there are others who see truth comes from love. That is that love is the primary or foundation of action and that truth is in service of love. Which means that there would be times when truth might be withheld or not shared or even hidden in order to more fully express love. When someone comes into my office and asks why did their beloved get run over by a bus I don't tell them the truth that their beloved was drunk as a skunk and wandered into the street and due to the full impact of a two ton bus their body could not handle their heart stopped. While this may be true, this is not the response that is needed. Rather a shared weeping and mourning is the response. 

Some might say that Truth and Love are one in the same, that they are both needed and required. That in fact, Truth and Love are inseparable. Scripture is cited and stories of Jesus are shared in order to make the case. I get it, perhaps they are correct. But for as many scriptures they cite, I can cite that many more on how love stands alone and that all things flow from it and it has no equal. I can make the Biblical case that Truth comes from Love, but in me doing that I become a person who acts like love comes from truth. I have a truth that I want to convince others and try to do it as loving as I can, but in the end my loving actions are filtered through a desire to communicate truth. 

Therein lies the problem that I struggle with my more zealous sisters and brothers on the left and right. When Truth is the primary value we are not able to hear one another. We are too busy trying to convince each other, as loving as we can, what is correct or true. 

My friend and colleague Rev. Ryan Kiblinger is a wonderful witness for me. He and I disagree on theological and social issues and yet I could not find a better example of a person who can practice disagreement with great love as his foundation. Be it on social media or in person Rev. Kiblinger is a person who I give thanks to God for because at his core he lives out a Truth from Love. I hope to also be a person who lives with the foundation of Love - even if that comes at the expense of Truth.

Clashing Shepherds: Leadership in the UMC and a Way Forward

For some, leadership looks like the shepherd out in front of a flock. This shepherd carries with them a staff they use to defend the flock. The shepherd has a vision and is going in a direction that the sheep are to follow. Some sheep may wander away and that is okay to this shepherd because this shepherd has a vision of what a flock can look like and only has energy for those sheep that can keep up.

Others view this idea of leadership to be less than ideal because there are many sheep that are lost and left behind. This second view of leadership is like that shepherd that takes time to ensure that every sheep is in the flock. This might look like a a pastor making house calls to every member to ensure that everyone is okay and tended to. This "lead from the back" shepherd keeps an eye on every sheep and pushes them forward as best as the shepherd can. 

For most of my ministry these two versions of leadership have dominated. There is the pastor as CEO (lead from the front) and the pastor as caretaker (lead from the back). Both of these types of leadership are called for at times however, these forms of leadership are no longer as helpful in the current time we live in. When things like collaboration, vulnerability, authenticity, and transparency are values of the day, leading from the front or back creates more problems than they solve. 

The third way of leadership is not by leading from the front or the back but among.

This style of leadership is frustrating because you will loose sheep, you cannot protect them all, you are not totally in control of the direction or pace and you are among the smells and biting of the flock. However, it is this style of leadership that is called for in our time: leading among. 

The Bishops "A Way Forward" is, I believe, a leading from among. It is not perfect. It has the same weaknesses such as loosing some of the flock and not being completely in control. However, it also is an attempt to uphold the values of collaboration, vulnerability, authenticity, and transparency.

No one is surprised that there is disagreement in the UMC on the issues of human sexuality. What is a bit surprising to some is the disagreement on what sort of leadership is needed in our time.

The UMC has clashing shepherds.