Why we cannot seem to let go of "everything happens for a reason"

Over the years (here, here, here and here.) I have written a few posts on the phrase "everything happens for a reason." What I have failed to identify in these posts is what is really behind this phrase and why we cannot let it go in our popular Christian culture. 

It all has to do with control.

Humans are under the spell that we are in much more control of things than we like to admit. We are reminded of this false sense of control daily. We set the temperature of our homes at exactly 76 degrees. We use a remote control and take birth control. We decide when to use cruise control and we talk about pest control. We believe we can control air traffic and crowds. We teach others how to be in control of emotions while looking for the newest diet to help us control our weight.

Additionally it is worth noting how deeply we resist giving up control (which may be why the great religions teach the path of surrender).

When we believe we are in control of more than we really are, we project that others must also be able to control more than they really can.

For instance we think that the President of the United States has a lot of control over the economy of the nation. Or we think that meteorologists can really predict the future. Or we think a pastor can grow a church. Or we think personal determination will inevitably lead to personal success. 

image from: http://blog.saintclairsystems.com/blog/topic/temperature-control

With all the reminders of how much we "control" we can see why "everything happens for a reason" is difficult to let go of. It is the ultimate creed of the god of control. It is the idea that someone, somewhere has to be in control because to think that things are not somehow under control is too frightening for us to imagine.

The most zealous devotees to the deity of control will even admit that we may not know right now or that we may never know what the reason is, but to trust that everything happens for a reason. This can be said because the reason is what is important but the soothing reminder that control is, well, in control.

Until we let go of control as cultural god, we will continue to hear "everything happens for a reason." The more we hold onto control the more we will miss the message of Jesus who teaches us about how to live in trust rather than in control.

Moral Foundations : Why the Other Side is Crazy

Have you ever been in a conversation with someone and wonder how the heck they could say the things they are saying? Recently, I was introduced to what is called "Moral Foundations Theory" which has given me some language to better understand myself and perhaps even some of the motivations of my sisters and brothers. 

The theory argues there are values that lay the foundation for what we count as right or moral. There are at least six major foundations humans use in order to determine what is moral and what is not. The following definitions are taken from Wikipedia: 

1. Care: cherishing and protecting others; opposite of harm.
2. Fairness or proportionality: rendering justice according to shared rules; opposite of cheating.
3. Liberty: the loathing of tyranny; opposite of oppression.
4. Loyalty or in-group: standing with your group, family, nation; opposite of betrayal.
5. Authority or respect: obeying tradition and legitimate authority; opposite of subversion.
6. Sanctity or purity: abhorrence for disgusting things, foods, actions; opposite of degradation.

Perhaps you see these and they make sense to you. Perhaps some of these foundations make more sense to you than others. Moral Foundations Theorists make the case that while most people are sensitive to the fairness foundation, conservatives are also equally sensitive to the other five foundations. However liberals are more sensitive to fairness and care than any other foundation, while libertarians are sensitive to fairness and liberty. 

Why this is important to consider is that conservatives will have more things that they deem as wrong and liberals will have fewer things they will deem as wrong. You can see this divide in the conversation around the ordination of members of the LGBT community. For conservatives the ordination of LGBT individuals may support their sense of fairness but it might also violate their sense of authority and/or sanctity. Liberals cannot understand why conservatives are not supportive of LGBT ordination since to not ordain them would violate their sense of fairness and care. 

Conservatives put more equal weight on each of the foundations while liberals put more weight on two foundations. This may be why the other side is crazy, we each have different and yet, overlapping, moral foundations. 

Read the Bible as Fiction. Please.

I have always wondered why when I ask people to tell me what the most important or formative books they have read in their lives, nine times out of ten a person says it was a fictional story. For instance, when Goodreads users what are the most influential books they have read, fiction is all over the place.

The Storytelling Animal: How Stories Make Us Human is a fantastic book and it is the first source that I have encountered that addresses why fiction is more influential on people than non-fiction. 

Here is a short summary of one of the arguments to the power of fiction:

"Green and Brock’s research shows that the more absorbed readers are in a story, the more the story changes them. Fiction readers who reported a high level of absorption tended to have their beliefs changed in a more “story-consistent” way than those who were less absorbed. Highly absorbed readers also detected significantly fewer “false notes” in stories—inaccuracies, infelicities—than less transported readers. Importantly, it is not just that highly absorbed readers detected the false notes and didn’t care about them (as when we watch a pleasurably idiotic action film); these readers were unable to detect the false notes in the first place."

The author goes on to say:

"And in this there is an important lesson about the molding power of story. When we read non fiction, we read with our shields up. We are critical and skeptical. But when we are absorbed in a story, we drop our intellectual guard. We are moved emotionally, and this seems to leave us defenseless."

The Church teaches that the Bible is Truth that you can shape your life around. Which gives the impression that the Bible should be read as first and foremost a historical document that is trying to convince the reader. 

The Bible, on the whole, is a collection of writings that are not trying to convince people's minds but trying to shape people's hearts. And the more we read the Bible like it is all non fiction the more we read "with our shields" up to the point that we are cynical and discount the Bible in what it is really trying to do. 

No one reads Frankenstein with their cynical shields up. Rather, we read and it shapes our hearts to consider the ethical dilemmas Shelley is trying to raise.

The Bible is a great collection of books. Many of these books are fiction and others are "based on a true story" sort of non fiction. But either way, can we get back to a point where the Church teaches Christians to read the Bible as non fiction and not be threatened by the Bible losing credibility or authority? 

Put it another way, can the Church get away from trying to convince people's minds and get back to Jesus' desire to shape our hearts*?

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*Ever wonder why Jesus used fictitious parables rather than non fiction tales?