Parable

The Comic Book Collector - A Parable

There was once a man who collected a particular comic book. He buys the newest comic book each week it comes out and faithfully puts it into one of those clear bags to help preserve it. He has been doing this for years and his collection is almost complete. Every edition except #3. He has never been able to find issue #3.

In all his travels, he visits every comic book store he can find. He attends festivals and conventions in an effort to find issue #3. No matter where he turns, no one has issue #3.

After a while, the man brings his entire collection to the publisher. He speaks with archivist of the publisher and shows off the entire “almost complete” collection. Even the archivist has never seen such a compete collection of this comic and is impressed. The man asked the archivist if it is possible to have a copy of issue #3 from the archives. To which the archivist says they will look into it.

Two weeks later, the archivist called the man and said, “Good News my friend! Your collection is complete!”

The man became confused and said, “Thanks for the call, but I still am missing issue #3. How is my collection complete?”

“At the time of these early editions, the typesetter made a mistake and it turns out that your issue #4 is technically issue #3! The whole printing system is off by a number and so that makes your collection complete!'“ exclaimed the archivist.

At the sound of this Good News the man grew angry and said, “I have searched high and low for issue #3 and everyone has kept me from getting it. And now even you are in on these efforts to thwart me! I know there is an issue #3 out there and I will not let you keep me from getting it.”


Maybe you can understand the reaction of the collector. Maybe you too have heard someone say to you, ‘you are complete and beautiful!’ but you refuse to accept or hear it. Many of us, myself included, are convinced and addicted to a sense about ourselves - that we are incomplete. We cannot accept that who we are is loveable and complete. We believe that there is an issue #3. That there must be something “out there” that we are missing, and that only if we had it, then we would be complete. When we are confronted with an idea (the Good News) that we are complete, we resist and even reject the idea. We are dependent on the story we have told ourselves that we are incomplete. So addicted in fact that any news to the contrary is not “good” at all.

The Horrible Miracle of Apollonius, Acts 19, and 2020

This model of the Temple of Artemis, at Miniatürk Park, Istanbul, Turkey, attempts to recreate the probable appearance of the third temple. Wikipedia.

This model of the Temple of Artemis, at Miniatürk Park, Istanbul, Turkey, attempts to recreate the probable appearance of the third temple. Wikipedia.

Once upon a time there was a booming commercial city called Ephesus. Jobs were plentiful through a local silver mine which employed not only miners but also was the source for refiners and artisans. Tourists came from all parts of the world to see the city center where there was a massive structure. It was considered one of the seven wonders of the world - the temple of Artemis.

Like many tourist destinations, a number of cottage industries pop up around the temple. As one approached the temple, you would be invited to purchase little silver replicas of the goddess, Artemis. Perhaps as a souvenir, but probably more that it is understood that if you wanted to please the gods, you would buy a statue and make a donation. 

Ephesus was a port city, the crown jewel of a temple, and a founding myth of their goddess. Being such a city with trade and commerce, Ephesus was very cosmopolitan and took a lot pride in their past as being the most important cities to ancient Greece - it was the center of the world for a long time.

But that was a long time ago. 

In this city, there are a number of preachers peddling all sorts of religions and claims. And just outside of town was a tent maker named Paul who was talking about a man named Jesus. For two years Paul keeps talking about Jesus and has gathered quite a number of people following what is simply called “the Way”. 

Followers of the Way were less interested in the temple center than they used to be. There was a decline in the number of statues sold and a loss of revenue. Fewer donations and sacrifices made at the temple. The Way followers rejected the silver statues and, to the shock of these silversmiths, the followers of the Way began to convince others to do the same. 

24 There was a silversmith named Demetrius. He made silver models of Artemis’ temple, and his business generated a lot of profit for the craftspeople. 25 He called a meeting with these craftspeople and others working in related trades and said, “Friends, you know that we make an easy living from this business. 26 And you can see and hear that this Paul has convinced and misled a lot of people, not only in Ephesus but also throughout most of the province of Asia. He says that gods made by human hands aren’t really gods. 27 This poses a danger not only by discrediting our trade but also by completely dishonoring the great goddess Artemis. The whole province of Asia—indeed, the entire civilized world—worships her, but her splendor will soon be extinguished.” 28 Once they heard this, they were beside themselves with anger and began to shout, “Great is Artemis of the Ephesians!”


Demetrius and his guild had a number of grievances against Paul and the Way followers. Paul’s work was undermining their business model. He was a threat to their way of life. Paul was a foreigner and an outsider who was twisting the minds of the true Ephesians. He was a threat not just to their economics, but he was offending the Goddess they had all worked so hard to appease. Paul was a threat to the existence of the whole city, a threat they felt like they had to get it rid of.

But how? They called a meeting.

Well it was more like a mob whipped into a fervor as they showed their unwavering devotion to their Goddess:

29 The city was thrown into turmoil. They rushed as one into the theater. They seized Gaius and Aristarchus, Paul’s traveling companions from the province of Macedonia. 30 Paul wanted to appear before the assembly, but the disciples wouldn’t allow him. 31 Even some officials of the province of Asia, who were Paul’s friends, sent word to him, urging him not to risk going into the theater. 

Over the two years Paul had collected many donations for his evangelical cause. He had the funds and revenue stream to make it in the city, even sending the surplus funds to others around the area. But one person’s charity is another person’s hand out. One person’s expression of generosity is another person’s enabling behavior. Paul’s companions urged him not to go to the mob because they may seek to recoup the money they feel Paul “took” from them and their businesses. 

32 Meanwhile, the assembly was in a state of confusion. Some shouted one thing, others shouted something else, and most of the crowd didn’t know why they had gathered. 33 The Jews sent Alexander to the front, and some of the crowd directed their words toward him. He gestured that he wanted to offer a defense before the assembly, 34 but when they realized he was a Jew, they all shouted in unison, “Great is Artemis of the Ephesians!” This continued for about two hours.


This is the power of the mob, it blinds and binds. 

The mob becomes blind to the ways their actions and thinking are harmful. They are blind to the limitations of their thinking. The mob is blind to the holes in their thoughts and perceptions. Mobs overlook the internal hypocrisy and contradictions, and ironically, are able to see the hypocrisy and contradictions in others. 

Looking around these individuals sees there are others who have similar grievances and they grow closer together. The individuals move as one, speak as one. The individual gives way to the group and they are bound together. Once bound together critiques on the group are understood as personal attacks. When a dissenting voice attempts to speak, they are drown out. When someone tries to say something that is not the party line, slurs and insults ensue. The mob will not tolerate anyone speaking anything counterfactual. The mob is bound to one another and to their sense of the world.

The crowd distills contradiction to opposition.

The mob grows restless. Surely if something does not happen then they will make something happen. The group is hot, tired and fired up. Some have hot heads and red faces while trying to outshout the marginal voices around them. There grows within the crowd a sense that anyone could be a mole, an impostor, an unbeliever. A fear to say the wrong thing or to say the right thing in a way that moves through the crowd. In an effort to ensure keep the group pure, chants break out. The eyes fall upon those who do not say the words enthusiastically so the shouts become louder and louder as people proclaim their allegiance to Artemis - which makes followers of the Way very uneasy.

They remembered what happened not very long ago in the theater of Ephesus. The city was in the middle of a plague, many died. Some thought the problem was that there were too many people in the city that did not belong. Being a port city it was full of languages and colors. There were competing ideologies and theologies. Some of the leaders thought that the plague was the result of all these differences and that Artemis was getting angry at so many unfaithful citizens. 

There was tension in the city and along came a pagan miracle worker named Apollonius. Apollonius gathered a mob into the theater and told them that the cure to the plague was for everyone to pick up a stone and kill a lonely blind beggar. And they did. 

And so when the mob was once more in the theater, whipped into a frenzy because of another possible economic calamity, echoes of Apollonius’ cure were in their ears. In fact many had brought their own stones. Perhaps more tragically, followers of the Way had stones too. 


The story of the silversmiths or the story of Apollonius are not limited to the past. As William Faulkner said, “The past is never dead. It's not even past.” The theater we stand in, the moment of our time, the frenzy and tension of our day - what are we going to do with the stones we carry?

One Church Model as Yeast

The Nicene and Apostle's creed both have a line that affirms belief in the holy catholic church and if we read it too quickly then we overlook the mystery of that phrase. 

I was reminded not long ago in a meeting with church leaders the meanings of these words. 

  • holy - set apart 
  • catholic - throughout the whole
  • church - the body that comes together in order to be sent out

If the point of the church is to be sent out, then why would it come together to begin with? Some might even call this a paradox others might see this is really inefficient. If the point is to be sent out, then are we not going against the point when we come together? Many of us see the benefits of coming together in order to be sent out and are not hung up by this paradox. However, fewer of us are able to reconcile the paradox of something that is both set apart and throughout the whole. 

We like to think that we are able to hold two ideas in our heads at the same time and give them equal weight. We like to think that we do not privilege one side over the other. We like to think that we are able to hold the paradox, but more often than not we will place one position over the other. Despite our inability to hold paradoxes, we continue to try because we know that life is never one or the other, but full of contradictions and paradoxes. 

For instance, are you a parent or a child? What color is the dress? What do you hear? Maybe the most basic paradox - "this sentence is false."

The divisions in the church these days might be understood as our unwillingness to attempt to hold these tensions together. Some elevate the role of the church as holy (set apart and different) while others elevate the role of the church as catholic (though out the whole or sometimes understood as universal).

Photo by Drew Coffman on Unsplash

Photo by Drew Coffman on Unsplash

You may recall that Jesus attempted to address this paradox of being set apart and through out the whole by speaking of yeast. Yeast is different form the whole and yet in order for yeast to function it has to be through out the whole batch. 

The UMC faces a number of decisions in February 2019 around how to include LGBTQIA+ people in the church. It seems to me that the option that is most like the church as yeast is what is called the "One Church Model." This model gives the decision about ordination and marriage to the most local body able to make the decision. Conferences decide who they are going to ordain as it is now, pastors decide who they are going to marry as it is now, and churches decide what types of ceremonies are allowed on church property now.

If we allow the the decision of how to include LGBTQIA+ persons to be spread through out the whole of the church then, paradoxically and mysteriously, the yeast retains its holiness. It seems clear to me that if the status quo remains or if there is a dramatic change in the current stance, then we move closer to being holy OR catholic. 

This is one more reason why I believe the "One Church model" not only is in line with the creeds, but is in line with our historical and Wesleyan tradition of affirming the holy, catholic church.

The "B and A Eaters"

Two times a year I visit this healthy restaurant in my neighborhood. It is a nice place, serving people in the community for several decades and it really does serve good food. I intend to go there more often, but they are only open one day a week, only for breakfast, and by the time I remember this is the day it is open, I am very tired and have other obligations/options for breakfast. In fact, I have gotten to the point that I really enjoy eating at home with my family and friends, so unless they are going to go with me to the restaurant, I do not go. Except twice a year, my birthday and anniversary.

Photo by Rachel Park on Unsplash

Photo by Rachel Park on Unsplash

The restaurant regulars know me as one of the many "birth-aversary eaters" or, for short: "B and A eaters." 

The people there are nice, to be sure and I know they are trying to welcome me to the restaurant they love so much. They tell me how long it has been since they saw me last and even talk about how great the food is or how I should meet the new chef who is doing so good cooking these days. All of it is okay, but a bit overwhelming. I sort of feel guilty when I am there because I am reminded that I generally do not eat healthy for breakfast all the time. I also feel a bit bad because I live so close to the restaurant, and feel like I should support local business and yet cannot seem to make it there more often. 

It really is a fine restaurant, and I support their work. I believe in eating local and supporting the community. I left a tip that was a bit more than I normally would leave as a way of saying thank you. And I am sure I will be back on the next anniversary, but I hope they would stop calling me a "B and A eater." I hope the chef does not point me out and say, "it has been so long since I saw you last, you should come more often!" I hope the guilt I naturally feel is not compounded by the regulars who do not see that I notice their disappointment when I am sitting in their usual spot. 

All I really want is to not feel guilty for going to breakfast. Maybe something is off in me? Or maybe something is off in the culture that does not know what to do with the occasional breakfast eater.