What is the training of a Christian?

When I was younger I played soccer. I was above average, but no Messi. Becoming a soccer player required training: first I had to learn to dribble, then pass, then trap the ball, then pass with accuracy, then shoot, then learn to play with others, read the field, see the space, formations, timing, etc. This training took years to get decent at. Countless hours a week with coaches and others in practice and games.

And that was just something as simple as soccer.

Becoming a Christian requires more training than we are want to believe. (We forget that the disciple were with Jesus all the time for three years and they still did not get it.)

What is the training of a Christian?

John Cassian suggests that there is a training process that one engages to develop into a Christian. In the the fourth book of The Institutes he describes this process:

First it begins with the fear of the Lord that is the beginning of wisdom (Proverbs 9:10).  What this means is that one must come first to see they are in need. To put it another way, the fear of the Lord means that we admit that the current models of our lives are leading us poorly and we need a new model to guide our lives.

We cannot adopt a new model while holding onto our original model. We cannot worship two gods (Matthew 6:24). This is why we must renounce our first models/gods. We must repent. This repentance is total. It is a repentance of all the objects, values, teachings and ways of the original model. It is impossible to learn a new life while holding onto the “way we used to do it”. It would be like learning to play basketball while still using a soccer players mindset, skills, tools and techniques. It does not work that way.

When we renounce our previous ways/models we are like a beginner. And there is nothing more humbling than being a beginner at anything. Which may be why we do not repent or renounce totally. We hold on to some things so we are not tossed into beginner status. However, when we are able to renounce/repent our previous life, dreams and desires fall away and die.

As Jesus said that a seed must fall to the ground and die in order to grow (John 12:24). When our old ways and models have died, then we are able to receive what the new model has for us. This new model, Christ, trains us in virtues that produce the fruits of the spirit - love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.

The person who produces such fruits of the spirit has an altogether new heart, what we might call the purity of heart. It is, as Jesus says, the pure in heart that see God (Matthew 5:8).

This training takes a lifetime and it is not easy. It breaks us down into being a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17). In this training, you may see that this does not begin by training people to just be better humans. It does not start with behavior modification to be more loving or kind or forgiving. It understands that we are unable to be loving, kind and forgiving as long as we living out of a sense of self and without seeing that we are in need. Without seeing that we are in fact in need we will reserve our love, mercy and forgiveness for only those who “deserve” or “earn” or who are “worthy”. Until we repent and renounce this way of living, we will not see God.

We will just see ourselves as god.

Chances Are Your Using Tough Love Wrong

Visual depiction of how we think of tough love.

I live in Texas and in Texas we have a culture of being tough. We pride ourselves on being full of grit, dirt and a pick up truck. And so in Texas we use a phrase that maybe you have heard or use yourself - tough love.

You may be thinking, “Jason, I thought that I read somewhere that love was patient and kind. It is something that is not envious or boastful. I though love was not proud, dishonoring, self-seeking or eastly angered. I thought love keeps no record of wrongs or delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. I thought love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres and never fails. How can love be tough?”

Well my friend, you must not have grown up in Texas. We like our love like we like our jerky - tough and salty.

Most often, the phrase “tough love” is used in one of two situations. First, and maybe most commonly, is in regards to parenting. Parents who are strict disciplinarians talk about extending tough love to their child. So punishments like spanking, grounding, removing privileges' and/or adding labor or chores might be considered tough love. There is a too many parenting articles on this sort of parenting style that I do not need to toss my two cents in on this.

The second way tough love is used is when you have to tell someone that may be difficult to say, but it will be tough for the other to hear. The idea behind this is that there is some sort of “truth” the one extending “tough love” is bringing to the attention to the receiver of the tough love. There may be tears or anger, but that is what makes it tough to hear. Tough love.

As a Texan, I am a big fan of tough love. In fact, I think that Jesus was an honorary Texan because I think he too placed a premium on tough love. But I believe that even my fellow Texans are using tough love wrong.

The way that tough love is practiced is that it is the “other” who will have a tough time. The toughness is externalized to the one extending love. And this is where tough love is misunderstood.

When we are in conflict with someone who we really think is going the wrong way. When someone betrays us, spits in our face, runs away, wishes us dead, or is heading the wrong way - Christ says we are still to love them.

And loving “them” is really, really tough.

Because they are jerks and sinners. They are stubborn and unrepentive. They are defiant and self-centered. They don’t care about how their actions impact others and they are so narcissistic they really believe the world is all about them. It is tough to love “those” people.

And this is why I think that God in Christ practices tough love. Even as Christ hung on the cross, he extended compassion and forgiveness.

That is tough like a Texan.

That is tough love.

Success Is for An Other

I was visiting with a friend of mine the other week and he use the words accomplishment and successful interchangeably. He wanted to be more successful in life so that he could provide for his family. This struck me as notable because my friend is in his mid 30’s and is already making decent money. He is more than providing for his family.

This exchange reminded me that success is always for another person, an other. You can be the richest person in the world and still not feel successful, because there is another’s approval you are seeking. And it is not until that “other” sees you as successful that you feel successful. My friend did not feel successful (even though by all standards he is) because he is trying to prove he is successful to an other. We spent the rest of the time exploring who the “other” person is.

If success is for an other, then accomplishment is for your self. When we brag about our accomplishments, we really are in the realm of seeking the approving eye of the “other”. Put simply, talking about our accomplishments means we are seeking success.

Jesus talk about two types of prayer. The one who prays on the street corner and the one who prays in the private room with the door closed. Jesus casts shade on the one who prays in the public square (for they have received their reward Jesus says). Jesus instructs us to pray in private with the door closed and the work of prayer will be accomplished. Accomplished prayer is not for an “other” who is always disappointed in how often or the depth of your prayers. If we feel that we are not good enough or not comfortable praying, we may be seeking the approval of an other. We may be seeking success.

Let me be clear, many of us are motivated to be successful, but we must be aware to whom the success is directed. While success is done for someone, accomplishment is done on behalf of someone. And this is the intersection of compassion and achievement. When we accomplish something we do so on behalf of another.

My friend wants to be successful to provide for his kids, but what he was describing was a desire to provide things for his kids that they could not do for themselves. His kids are too little to get a paycheck and “produce” things for the world. He works and meets goals in his work on behalf of his kids - this is what motivates him to work hard. His compassion and love for his kids drive him forward to accomplish goals.

God is not very successful, but God is very accomplished. There is no “other” that God is working to impress or woo over. God is able to rest at on the seventh day because of all that was accomplished, those seeking success shun rest or see it as a way to be more productive. Jesus said on the cross “it is finished”, which is something you only say when you accomplish something. Those are seek success are never content with being finished.

Fear of the Lord is the Beginning of Wisdom?

In Philippians 2:1-11 we read the following:

If then there is any encouragement in Christ, any consolation from love, any sharing in the Spirit, any compassion and sympathy, 2 make my joy complete: be of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. 3 Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility regard others as better than yourselves. 4 Let each of you look not to your own interests, but to the interests of others. 5 Let the same mind be in you that was in Christ Jesus,

6 who, though he was in the form of God, did not regard equality with God as something to be exploited, 7 but emptied himself, taking the form of a slave, being born in human likeness. And being found in human form, 8 he humbled himself and became obedient to the point of death—even death on a cross. 9 Therefore God also highly exalted him and gave him the name that is above every name, 10 so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bend, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

This is among the richer scriptures in the New Testament regarding Christ. There is debate if this is a song or poem, if Paul wrote it or if he just knew of it. It is identified as a “Christological hymn” however let us not forget that it is not just about Christ. It is an invitation for each of us on how to live our lives after the example (pattern) of Christ.

What is this pattern? In short it is the pattern of kenosis - the pattern of divesting power. Here is what that might look like:

First we begin with fear of the Lord. This is not that we are “afraid” of the Lord but that we do not compare ourselves to anyone else but the Lord. In doing so, we begin to see that we are in fact not the Lord and that our Sin is ever before us. If we compare ourselves to others, then we become prideful and boastful to the point where we begin to feel like we are “above” or even “godlike” to others. Thus fear of the Lord is knowing who/what to compare yourself to.

When we compare ourselves to God, we are face to face with the shortcomings we have. These shortcomings are the very things that keep us from union with God, others, world and self. And so, if unity is what we seek, we must renounce our current way of life.

When we renounce ways of living that keep us from union, we become a learning again. The idea that “what got you here cannot take you there” is at play. So as ones who have renounced “what got us here” because it “cannot take us there” we are humbled as one who is just beginning a new journey. We have to learn again a new way to live that is without that which we renounced. (Thus, religion is about helping us unlearn before it is about helping us learn.)

Once we renounce our previous ways and in a posture of a humble learner, what are we to do? We need a teacher to show us and tell us what to do. When you are taking a class, the teacher will often tell you to do things that you do not fully understand at the time. However, you trust the teacher and you do what they tell you to do hopeful that in the doing you will come to a greater understanding. Trusting the teacher and doing what they ask is called obedience. Obeying is not a high value in the individualist times we are in, and maybe this is part of our resistance to the spiritual life.

Finally, even if you obey the teacher, the lessons of how to live a life like Christ will take patience. We will not learn over night. It was said that one monk put a stone in his mouth for three years just to learn to be silent. It was said that one monk was in the desert for over fifty years and was just beginning to tame anger. It was said that Jesus Christ himself took forty days in the wilderness to overcome the temptations. It took God in Christ three days to defeat death. Needless to say, if it takes God in Jesus through the power of the Holy Spirit some time to overcome things, it will take you time as well.

This is a pattern to consider as the spiritual life:
1) Fear of the Lord
2) Renunciation
3) Humility
4) Obedience
5) Patience

Now, if only I could get that first one down…